Finding Balance
by Stratoverra
Summary: With his life at risk, Roy reveals something unexpected to Ed. Slash, Roy/Ed. Kind of sentimental.


**Brief background: I wrote this story a couple years ago and I found it digging through old papers. I only edited the phrasing, so the plot holes really show. If you aren't in the mood for something corny, I suggest you leave now.**

"I'm not going to do this!" Ed Elric shouted at his brigadier general. He was standing in the doorway of Roy's compartment on a train speeding towards a small town about 40 miles from Central. Ed wanted to punch the hell out of his superior officer, but Hawkeye had pulled out her gun and was keeping it trained on him.

"How many times do I have to explain this to you, Fullmetal? You're a soldier - a military dog. Like it or not, you're going to help us defeat the uprising of troops that are still loyal to Fuhrer Bradley."

"But it isn't a fair fight! Regular soldiers are no match for state alchemists!" Eyes narrowed, Ed stared him down. "It would be like a slaughter."

"We've tried diplomacy. This is our final option. Now return to your seat." Roy replied, not once lifting his gaze to look at Ed.

"Fine. I don't think I could stand to look at your ugly face for another minute anyway," Ed snapped. The other man smirked.

"Unfortunately, you'll be seeing me quite often, considering I've appointed you into my squadron."

Cursing under his breath, Ed kicked the door with his black boot and stormed off.

****

Roy raised his hand, ready to snap his fingers, concentration and determination on his face. Then suddenly a shot rang out. It was one among hundreds of gunshots, and yet somehow Ed heard it and turned in time to see the Brigadier General clutching his chest as he lurched backwards. He fell to the ground, spasmed twice, then lay still. No one else seemed to notice, but for Ed, time stood still.

Without hesitation, the young alchemist clapped his hands together and slammed them against the ground. There was a flash of blue light, and a massive stone wall emerged from the ground and crashed down on the enemy soldiers like a wave. Ed rushed over to where Roy had fallen.

Roy was staring blankly at the sky above him as blood trickled from his bullet wound. When Ed reached him, he straddled him and pressed both hands onto the wound, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. Roy's heartbeat was faint. His eyelids began to close. Ed slapped him.

"Damnit, Mustang, stay with me!" He urged, and then lowered his voice. "Please. Just hold on." _Why am I getting so worked up? _Ed thought. _He's nothing but a smartass with a god-complex, keeping secrets from me and ordering me around. I wouldn't consider him as a mentor, much less a friend_.

"Edward?" Roy croaked from beneath him and Ed nodded in reply, glancing around for help.

"Someone get a medic over here!" He called, and then turned his attention back to Roy.

"Really screwed myself over this time, huh?" The general whispered, giving him a pained smile. Before he could answer, Roy reached up and pulled Ed's head down closer to his own. As the sweaty fragrance of Ed's hair cascaded over the older alchemist, he pressed his lips to Ed's in a quick, subtle kiss. Ed was too shocked to pull away. It felt as if his very heart was trembling. Roy blinked and let his head fall back against the earth.

Ed sat there, dazed and motionless. _What the hell just happened?_ His mind raced, his stomach clenching in uncertainty.

"Edward!" A voice called out. He turned to see Armstrong, a medic, and few other soldiers running toward him. Panicking, Ed leapt away from the general and stood up. The recruits hoisted Roy onto their shoulders and began to carry him away.

"Wait," Roy choked, "I want Hawkeye put in charge of my squadron. Ed, you'll be second in command." Ed couldn't even nod; he just stared unblinkingly as they started moving again. The most he managed to do was swallow to clear the feeling of a large stone being stuck in his throat.

****

"I assume you know why I called you in here," Roy uttered quietly, his back to Ed with his hands clenched behind him. Anxious to the point that he thought he might stop breathing, Ed sat down.

"Have a new assignment for me?" He mocked, trying to relieve his tension with some humor. Waiting for a response, he glanced around the plain concrete walls, which only made him feel trapped. He centered his focus on Roy, trying to use him as the anchor in this uneasy situation.

"There's something you need to understand about what happened on the battlefield. I didn't expect to live. Hell, I didn't think I'd make it as far as the medical station. In the spirit of that, I did something I wouldn't do under any other circumstances. I didn't want to die regretting that I hadn't kissed you. That's all. So I'd appreciate it if you would forget it ever happened." Roy paused to twist his mouth into a bitter smile. "I just have a tendency to pursue people who aren't interested in me."

Ed stared down at the floor and fiddled with a loose thread in the sleeve of his cloak. "I… I never said I wasn't interested," he muttered. Roy turned rapidly to look at him, surprise on his face for the first time in all the years Ed had known him.

"Ed, everyone has different sides to them. Each side contains some truth and some falsity. Unless you're really close to the person, you'll probably never know more than one side of them. I have too many secrets; too many things I don't want you to know. If I were to let you get close to me, you would discover them eventually. There isn't any way we could be… together, especially since I'm your superior officer." He answered bluntly, turning his back to Ed again.

"How long did it take you to write that speech? You should win an award for that and another for your perfectly hardened expression. You are a _fighter_, Roy. Don't tell me you're afraid of getting hurt." Ed challenged.

"Quite the contrary. I'm afraid of hurting you." His commander's voice was quieter this time, but held just as much resolution in it. After a moment, he cautiously walked over to Roy and placed the palm of his flesh hand on his shoulder blade.

"There is a little bliss and a little suffering in everything. Though the gain and loss may be equal, things seem more difficult than they really are, and that causes people to give up and decide it isn't worth it. But there's always a good side to something. You just have to take the risk." Ed explained.

Roy brought his hand up to Ed's face to brush away a stray lock of hair and then kept his gloved fingers resting on his cheek. His eyes softened. "I know it won't be easy," he said, "but if you're willing to try, I am too.


End file.
